This has been quite a special year, full of mixed thoughts. I turned 30 on September 13th and it was overwhelming because I feel I’m not getting where I should be:
- having this great job
- having my own house
- having a Master’s Degree or something like that
No. I live with my boyfriend but we rent, so it’s not my own house per se and I’m still studying at University and (hopefully) next year will get my first degree, I’ll be a sworn and certified translator…but I’m thirty!
Most of my classmates are literally ten years younger and I can’t stop myself comparing to others. They are amazing people, some of them close friends of mine but, in the end, I feel that I got super late to the party.
A week before my birthday I started thinking about why I was thinking and overthinking, why I felt frustrated and that my “life-span” as a young woman is ending. I’m not that young anymore but I’m not old.
Then, after reflecting on this I realised that we, women, have this huge pressure of being young and flawless and looking perfect and, at the same time, we want to have amazing jobs and be successful. And then, there’s maternity.
This change of decade brought about all these questions and I realised that I don’t know if I want to be a mother now or if I’m ready or if I will ever be. Nevertheless, I started thinking of freezing my eggs (I didn’t see that one coming) and wondering why I’m not the successful woman I wanted to be at this age.
In my case, when I was 18 I wanted to be a medical doctor and after a year, I realised that I wanted to be an English Teacher but after 3 years I realised that translation was my thing. I love researching, reading, communicating. That “ahá moment” took almost 8 years but in the meantime, I met amazing people, I worked for the Ministry of Economy in Argentina for quite a long time in imports and exports and I learnt a lot. I studied German and I had my first relationship.
Then, after having cried a lot I realised that my twenties were incredible. Different but amazing because I had the chance to do so many different things and I had fun in spite of my ups and downs.
Now I’m here, trying to battle the pressure of being “perfect”, ageless, successful in predictable terms. I don’t want wrinkles on my face but they’ll show up eventually. I don’t want to have grey hairs but they’ll grow. That’s life.
We are more than that, each woman is a mystery, a whole world full of surprises and experiences, and not every one of us has the same goals and wants a “Stepford wife” life. Maybe we don’t. Therefore, it’s time to change.
